Domestic Violence in Queer Relationships and the Impact of Mainstream Feminist Activism

In Kimberlé Crenshaw’s, Mapping the Margins, Intersectionality, Identity Politics and Violence Against Women of Colour, she argues that feminist and antiracist discussions often operate as though sexism and racism occur exclusive to one another. She explains how this is not the case, that it is not only sexism or only racism that impacts a person’s life, rather all the aspects of one’s identity is present at all times and thus the discrimination they face based on them intersects. Because of this, scholarly and activist discussions of these issues should not focus on one part of a person’s identity, or source of oppression, but should also intersect and take into consideration all of them at once (Crenshaw 1242). For instance, it is counterproductive to speak about all women’s experiences without taking into consideration how their race also affects their life. A straight, white woman holds more privilege than a queer, woman of colour, and thus their experience of the world will not be the same.

Similarly to Crenshaw’s argument that mainstream feminism tends to look at women’s issues from the perspective of white womanhood, and thus does not take into consideration the experiences of women of colour (1246), mainstream feminism’s discussions of domestic violence look at the issue through not only a white lens, but a heterosexual one - that is, they are focused on violence in heterosexual relationships, inflicted onto the woman from the man. While this is a serious issue that should be talked about, this analysis does not take into consideration domestic violence that occurs within queer relationships. A possible explanation is that queer relationships simply have lesser rates of domestic violence. However, this is not the case, as various studies have shown that not only does violence occur in queer relationships, it occurs at about the same rate as straight relationships (Erbaugh 433). Given this information, it raises the question as to why this type of partner violence is not often discussed within feminist circles and how Crenshaw’s theory of intersectionality can help us better understand this issue. In this paper, I will explore how mainstream feminism’s focus on straight, white womanhood/activism impacts those in queer relationships. More specifically, how domestic violence in queer relationships is impacted by various socially constructed factors such as race, as well as institutional modes of power such as the police force.

As already mentioned, much of the research and discussion within feminist activism surrounding domestic violence is done so with heterosexual couples in mind. While it may be helpful for these couples, the same cannot be said for queer ones. Because so much of the discussion of domestic violence within straight couples is also focused on violence that is inflicted upon women at the hands of men, the roles of perpetrator and victim have become gendered, with the perpetrator of violence being a man/masculine role and the victim being a woman/feminine role. Therefore, it is not useful when discussing situations where a man is a victim to a woman, or violence between people of the same gender, as those involved in these situations do not fit into this framework’s strict binary ways of theorising (Erbaugh 434).

This framework is also heavily reliant on the involvement of the police force and criminalisation as a way to deal with domestic violence. Again, while this may prove useful for white, heterosexual couples, it does not take into consideration the harm it may cause to queer and racialised couples. In Yasmin Jiwani’s, Discourses of Denial : Mediations of Race, Gender, and Violence, she argues that institutional practices are able to hide their racist violence, as the (white) groups in power use their power to keep the subordinate (non white) ‘in their place’. This then places white norms and beliefs as the norm and everything else as other, which further allows racist violence to be hidden, as well as positions some forms of violence as more ‘serious’ than others. For instance, within racialized communities, domestic violence is viewed as less important and less violent as it is considered to be a part of their ‘culture’, reinforcing the idea that these communities are old fashioned or less modern than their white counterparts (Jiwani 24). This racist positioning of what constitutes ‘real violence’ and the way it negatively impacts certain couples and not others goes hand in hand with Erbaugh’s point about the gendering of the roles of abuser/victim, as both issues impact how seriously victims are taken by authorities. Because mainstream feminism focuses on white, heterosexual couples when discussing domestic violence, and in doing so, assigns specific genders to the roles of abuser and victim, instances of domestic violence that stray from this binary mould are not considered to be ‘real’ violence and thus are not taken seriously by authorities. These issues can even be seen in more contemporary issues of violence. One example that has been discussed greatly recently in the media and in class is the case of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. Because he targetted gay men of colour, police were not concerned for what was going on within what they thought was an interracial, homosexual ‘relationship’, nor did they even consider the possibility that there was violence occurring, even returning an escaped victim back to Dahmer, who he later killed (Lancaster).

Another issue with this framework and its emphasis on the involvement of the police in handling domestic violence issues is the way that it disproportionately affects communities of colour, as well as the fact that the police system has a long history, and presence, of homophobia. Going back to Crenshaw’s article and her theory of intersectionality, she discusses a specifically political type of intersectionality and, in doing so, explains the politicisation of domestic violence. She explains how the politicisation of domestic violence within racialized communities works to make it a race issue, rather than a violence issue (similarly to earlier points regarding violence being written off as a “part of someone’s culture”, and thus not being taken seriously). She also explains how it is this discourse that discourages victims of racialized communities to come forward about their abuse, out of fear of reinforcing negative, violent stereotypes about members of their own community (Crenshaw 1253). Based on this, as well as Erbaugh’s points regarding the heterosexual gendering of the roles of domestic violence, it becomes clear how police involvement as the main source of aid in domestic violence issues is problematic, as it illustrates the ways in which racialized communities are subject to increased violence and stereotyping and thus are disproportionately affected by this framework.

Additionally, the police system has historically been a place of systemic homophobia, both within and outside of the force, and this is still present today. Various studies have shown, and many members of the LGBTQ+ community have reported, harassment from the police force stemming from homophobia. Although it is widely believed that homophobia within the force comes from the fact that it is a field dominated by heterosexual males, there is evidence to suggest that these beliefs and viewpoints are present in individuals before they even enter the academy. A 2019 study has even found that of those expressing interest in pursuing a career in law enforcement, it was the men involved that expressed the most homophobia, as well as that gender, not the path of law enforcement itself, was a bigger predictor of one’s homophobia (Tucker et al 185). It is no surprise then that LGBTQ+ individuals are less likely to report hate crimes, out of fear of harassment from officers or even the fear of being outed if they were to come forward (Tucker et al 169). Similarly to Crenshaw’s discussion of racialized communities' fear of reporting violence to the police, LGBTQ+ communities face similar fears as a result of historical and present violence perpetrated by the police force. Although this solution for how to deal with domestic violence may work for some white heterosexual couples, these points illustrate how it is not only not beneficial to non white and queer couples, but how it can actually cause more harm, further proving how mainstream feminism’s framework for domestic violence, as well as socially constructed factors, negatively impact queer relationships.

As illustrated through this paper, much of feminist activist work in discussing domestic violence has had a poor impact on queer and racialized couples. Due to its focus on white, heterosexual couples, and violence perpetrated by men onto women, the roles of abuser and victim have become heavily gendered. This gendering of these roles results in forms of violence that do not fit this mould, such as violence between people of the same gender, as not being considered “real violence”. This focus on white, heterosexual violence is harmful to queer couples, especially those involving people of colour, as it does not take into consideration the differences at play as a result of their race and sexuality. This is especially evident in the focus on police involvement in handling domestic disputes, as the homophobic and racist violence members of these communities face at the hands of the police force are not taken into consideration and thus disproportionately affect these individuals. In discussing these issues and using support from various studies and feminist scholars, it is evident how mainstream (white) feminist activism regarding domestic violence, as well as how other social factors and institutional modes of power, such as race and the police force, cause harm and negatively impacts those in queer relationships.